The Austere Academy

The Austere Academy

Streaming Audiobook - 2004
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WARNING: LISTENING TO THIS TAPE WILL ONLY MAKE YOU WEEP... Dear Listener, If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere. Violet, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent and resourceful children, and you might expect that they would do very well at school. Don't. For the Baudelaires, school turns out to be another miserable episode in their unlucky lives. Truth be told, within the chapters that make up this dreadful story, the children will face snapping crabs, strict punishments, dripping fungus, comprehensive exams, violin recitals. S.O.R.E., and the metric system. It is my solemn duty to stay up all night reading my history of these three hapless youngsters into a microphone, but you may be more comfortable getting a good night's sleep. In that case, you should probably listen to something else. With all due respect, LEMONY SNICKET
Publisher: [United States] : Harper Collins Publishers : Made available through hoopla, 2004.
Edition: Abridged.
ISBN: 9780060793432
0060793430
Branch Call Number: eAudiobook hoopla
Characteristics: 1 online resource (1 audio file (3hr., 16 min.)) : digital.
Additional Contributors: Snicket, Lemony
hoopla digital

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j
jandt_mcmurray
Nov 21, 2017

The poor Baudelaire just can't catch a break. They went from one terrible work camp (Miserable Mill) to another terrible place (Austere Academy). Count Olaf this time has disguised himself as the gym teacher. He tells the principal that he's looking for a few students to train for a running program, & of course, he already had the "perfect" 3 children in mind. The children are in class all day, listening to ridiculous violin concerts all evening, then running literally all night. If they can't pass the upcoming tests, they will be expelled from school & transfered to yet another guardian. At least here they have found a pair of wonderful friends, Duncan & Isadora Quagmire. These dear friends even volunteered to run all night in their place with Count Olaf in order to allow time for Violet & Klaus to study for the test. But as all things tend to do for these poor children, their plans backfire. Violet & Klaus pass their tests, but still are expelled from school, Sunny is fired from her administrative assistant job, & the Quagmire triplets (the 3rd child died in a fire) are kidnapped by Count Olaf. We know happens to the Baudelaire orphans (they'll be transfered to the next guardian), but what will come of the Quagmire triplets? On to book 6.

Of course there are more wretched characters in this book as there have been in each of the 5 books thus far. One of the reasons I ranked this book a bit higher than some of the previous ones is due to the 2 WONDERFUL new characters, Duncan & Isadora Quagmire. They too are orphans having lost their parents & 3rd triplet in a house fire just like the Baudelaires. This bonded the children together initially, but they would quickly find that they would've become friends regardless due to the fact that they are all kind, caring people. I expect we'll see more of the Quagmire triplets since they are currently held by Count Olaf. I WOULD quit reading this series based on the terrible circumstances that dominate EVERY SINGLE STORY leaving you depressed each time you dig into the next book, but I am banking on the hope that the final book in the series, "The End", will finally bring a satisfactory end to these poor childrens' woes.

Age recommendation: 12 & up (mistreatment of children)

On a scale of 1-10 stars, I give it 8.

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j
jandt_mcmurray
Nov 21, 2017

jandt_mcmurray thinks this title is suitable for 12 years and over

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j
jandt_mcmurray
Nov 21, 2017

Other: mistreatment of children

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