Man upDVD - 2016
From the critics
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Come on, I'm too old for this shxt.
-You're 34, not 84. Come on, let's hear those mantras.
Put yourself out there.
- Now a little less hollow and robotic.
Get stronger thighs. Be more deviant. Learn French. Cook more. Understand the Israeli-Palestinian conflict better. Engage with... life.
Why does everyone tell me that?
-If they're always telling you, you should listen.
I think the trick is, get through the first 30, 40 years, then just kind of give up. From that point on it's a breeze.
And where's Jessica?
- Probably gone home by now. Past her bedtime.
Are you even 24?
- Aw. Add another ten.
- Fxck you, Granddad.
You need to man up, Nancy.
I met a girl today, the wrong girl, except she turned out to be the right girl.
You're just - - you're an emotional jigsaw at the moment but you're gonna piece yourself back together. You know, start with the corners. Look for the blue bits.
I mean, you're not holding on to her. You're holding on to a feeling, and that feeling will eventually pass. Promise. I mean, look, maybe I was wrong. Maybe dating 24-year-olds is exactly what you need right now.
Isn't that just the classic response of the lonely 34-year-old woman desperate for somewhere to put her eggs.
-I'm nearly at my sexual peak. It's all downhill for you. Knock knock, who's there? Viagra!
You know when a woman first starts sleeping with a man, she acts like a porn star. Am I right? Jack and I, anything goes. Church of Lesbyterian, dinner beneath the bridge, guided tour of site B, if you know where that is.
If you get a woman back to your place and you say you don't wanna have sex, you just wanna take it slowly, I guarantee she will go down on you. The Blow Job Paradox.
- Blow Job Paradox!
Yeah! "Use it, don't abuse it."
I got a hint of what could be out there for me. You know... a fun,... loving, crazy, contradictory, long, happy life with someone. Something that these two have had since they first laid eyes on each other 40 years ago.
You know your problem, Nancy?
You spend your entire time on the sidelines theorizing about what works, but never putting yourself out there. You never take chances.
-I think my actions today could be considered quite "chancy".
You need to man up. I married that woman and she tore out my heart but I'm still standing. I'm still putting myself out there.
Barbie. She's got a beach buggy and horses and a salon. And a boyfriend.
-Is she still with that guy? Such a fake smile.
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